This year, my daughter is starting at a new school. Her old school began at 9:05, just a 10-minute drive away.
The new one? 7:30 AM, 22 minutes away. GULP.
When I first heard that, my brain didn’t think “fresh start.” My brain thought: “We might be doomed.”
Why School Mornings Are So Stressful (Especially with ADHD)
In the past, mornings at my house could be chaotic. I’ve lost count of the times I slid into the car at 7:30 AM already feeling like I’d lived a full day. If that’s your reality right now, I get it.
Here’s a truth that changed the way I viewed mornings: “getting out the door” isn’t one big task. It’s a dozen small ones strung together:
- Getting dressed
- Brushing teeth
- Packing backpacks
- Finding shoes
- Remembering lunches
- Finding the school project on the counter or tucked under the bed
For kids (and parents) with ADHD or executive functioning challenges, each of those steps can feel like its own mountain.
Plus, each step has a transition. And transitions require decision-making, something that burns a lot of mental fuel for ADHD brains.
When executive functioning is already stretched thin, every micro-decision (Do I eat now or after I brush my teeth? Where’s my water bottle?) becomes one more chance to get sidetracked. Add in the ADHD tendency to get absorbed in something more interesting, and it’s easy to see why mornings can derail fast.
Back-to-School Morning Routine Challenges
On top of the morning routine stress, the start of school can feel like one big trigger.
The transition from summer’s slower pace to the action-packed routine of the school year often leads to:
- More bickering
- More meltdowns
- Higher stress for everyone
Add ADHD into the mix and the stakes rise even more. Kids may be navigating:
- Worries about acceptance and fitting in
- Entirely new routines and teacher expectations
- Academic pressure
Here’s the kicker: if mornings have always been stressful, that’s the routine your system, and your kids’ systems, expect. Everyone knows their “role” in the morning drama, whether it’s the last-minute scrambler, the shoe-loser, or the one yelling, “We’re going to be late!”
Even if it’s miserable, it’s familiar. And familiar won’t change on its own.
This is where routines and checklists shine, especially for families navigating ADHD.
The Quiet Power of Routines and Checklists
A lot of people think checklists are just for remembering what to do. And sure, that’s part of it. But for ADHD brains, they’re so much more.
-
They cut down decision fatigue.
Every time you move from one task to another, you make a decision. A written routine removes the need to figure out what’s next over and over again. The brain can simply follow the path instead of forging a new one each morning.
-
They support working memory.
Early in the morning, your brain isn’t fully “online” yet. Combine that with ADHD’s natural challenges in holding multiple steps in mind, and it’s easy to forget what comes next. A checklist is like an external hard drive; it keeps the sequence visible so you don’t have to hold it all in your head. -
They make transitions easier.
Moving from one activity to the next can be a major sticking point for ADHD brains. A visible list helps anchor the “what’s next,”so you’re less likely to get stuck between tasks. -
They create consistency for the whole family.
When the routine is written down, everyone can see it: parents, kids, even the sleepy teenager who claims they “didn’t know” what they were supposed to be doing. It takes the pressure off you to be the constant reminder (or “morning drill sergeant”).
Pro Tip: Keep your morning checklist short, visible, and easy to update. Place it where it will actually be seen: in the kitchen, near the bathroom mirror, or taped to the back of the bedroom door. And if you have younger kids or a teen who isn’t a morning person, go over the list the night before so the morning doesn’t start with surprise instructions.
3-Step ADHD-Friendly Tip to Change Your Morning Routine
These aren’t three unrelated tips. They’re one core strategy, broken down so it’s realistic to implement in real life.
1. Visualize Your Ideal Morning
Before you start rewriting the routine, picture what you want mornings to feel like.
-
Is there coffee waiting?
-
Are kids moving on their own (mostly)?
-
Are you pulling out of the driveway with time to spare instead of hoping for green lights?
This step matters because it sets a clear target. And for ADHD brains, novelty and vision boost motivation. You’re not just “getting ready for school.” You’re creating a morning that feels good to live in.
2. Start Small
You do not need to—and shouldn’t—overhaul your entire morning at once. Pick one change and stick with it until it’s part of the routine. Maybe it’s:
-
Laying out clothes the night before
-
Pre-packing lunches
-
Keeping shoes in one designated spot
Every time that small step works, you’ve saved your brain one decision, one memory recall, and one transition hurdle. Those little wins compound over time.
3. Share the Plan
A checklist or routine isn’t just for you; it’s a shared tool. Let everyone know what the plan looks like. This doesn’t guarantee that every step will happen perfectly, especially in an ADHD household, but it gives everyone the same starting map.
Kids, especially those with ADHD, thrive when they know what’s expected. Without that clarity, they may shut down or act out. This is not because they don’t care, but because they feel overwhelmed.
If a step gets skipped, you can adjust together instead of scrambling to re-invent the plan mid-morning. And that shared reference point means the “nagging” role can be outsourced to the checklist, not you.
Making It Work in Real Life
The best checklist is the one you’ll actually use. Keep it short, visible, and easy to change. Stick it where it will be seen: on the fridge, the bathroom mirror, or the back of a bedroom door.
If you have younger kids, walk through it with them. For teens, review it the night before so they’re not hearing the plan for the first time when they’re still half-asleep.
Remember: this is not about hitting 100% completion every day. Even baseball’s best hitters only get on base about 30% of the time. If your mornings go from 50% smooth to 70%, that’s progress worth celebrating.
Final Thoughts: You Don’t Have to Settle for Chaos
With ADHD or executive functioning challenges, mornings can feel like an uphill climb. But with a clear routine, a visible checklist, and a realistic three-step approach, you can turn that climb into a smoother path.
You’ll still have mornings that go sideways. That’s life. But, you’ll also have more mornings where you pull out of the driveway thinking, “We actually did it.”
If you’re ready for more ideas, my Resource for Smoother Mornings is packed with ADHD-friendly strategies and a customizable routine chart to help you start the day with more calm and less chaos.
Comments