What a plant taught me about resilience, overcommitment, and letting go of the right things.
I Thought She Was a Plant Killer
I’ll admit it. I used to think a woman at work was a plant killer.
She would take these lush, vibrant plants and hack them down to a quarter of their size. How could she do this? How could she destroy a beautiful living thing? I was horrified.
But a few weeks later, the plant would be back. Gorgeous, thriving, life-giving.
Every couple of months, she’d cut it back again. A perfectly fine plant hacked down to near nothing. And a few months later, we’d have the same, yet different, plant.
The 80% Rule Blew My Mind
As I’ve done more research on plants, I’ve found one fact particularly surprising: For many plants, you can cut back up to 80% and they will recover. Eighty percent! That’s mind-blowing.
My coworker knew this. It turns out she wasn’t a killer after all. She was setting boundaries. She knew how big a plant could get in the space it was in. When it hit that limit, she reset it. She knew the plant had strong roots. She trusted it could handle the change.
And the plant? It came back with a new lease on life. It tapped into what it was good at, and it grew again. Maybe not in the exact same shape, but still unmistakably itself.
My Plants, My Worry
This wasn’t a constant battle for her. It wasn’t reactive. It was intentional.
That’s when I realized… I had been doing the opposite.
For so long, I believed I didn’t have a green thumb. Now that I was finally not killing plants, I couldn’t bear to cut them back. So I let them grow however they wanted. No pruning. No hard stops. Just endless expansion.
But as the plant grew, parts of it stopped getting enough light. Interior leaves withered. I felt sorry for the plant. I let it take up space, not just in my home, but in my head. Was I doing it wrong? Should I move it again? Was this even the right pot?
The Trap of Constant Maintenance
I kept maintaining. Kept tending. Kept worrying.
I’d pinch off new growth, propagate it, and now suddenly I had more plants to care for. More systems. More maintenance. More stress.
My co-worker and I both had boundaries. But only one of us trusted them. She trusted her plant. I didn’t trust myself.
This Isn’t Just About Plants
You’re not a houseplant. But you are living in a system: a job, a family, a body, a brain.
And like that plant, you may be trying to grow without enough light, without enough space, without any permission to cut back.
You are just happy to stop and think: Look how far I’ve come. Because I finally figured out how to keep things alive. Because what if it all falls apart if I stop trying so hard?
But here’s the truth: You’re allowed to prune.
Not just allowed. Sometimes, pruning is the only way something new can bloom.
Boundaries Aren’t Harsh. They’re Strategic.
The coworker in this story? I now realize she wasn’t being cruel. She was setting a boundary based on trust. Trust in the roots. Trust in the system. Trust in resilience.
What if you applied that same logic to your life?
- What are you keeping alive out of guilt instead of purpose?
- Where have you been afraid to cut back because you’re scared it means you failed?
- What boundaries have you been avoiding because tending to everything feels safer than tending to yourself?
Start with One Snip
This isn’t about going full lumberjack on your calendar or quitting your job and moving to a cabin (unless that’s your thing).
This is about learning to trust that letting go of the clutter — the overcommitments, the outdated systems, the internalized shoulds — doesn’t mean collapse. It means room to grow.
In ADHD coaching, we work together to figure out what’s yours to carry, and what you can lovingly cut back. Not to give up. But to give yourself the space and clarity to grow with intention, with energy, and with far less second-guessing.
We take a clear-eyed look at what’s working, what’s wilting, and what needs pruning.
You Are Not Failing. You Are Rooted.
You’re already resilient. That’s not up for debate.
But you don’t have to earn your rest, justify your boundaries, or micromanage your way into feeling okay. You don’t have to hold everything together just to prove you can.
You just need space. Light. And someone in your corner who understands the ADHD brain and the human behind it.
So if you're tired of being the overextended plant parent in your own life, always worried something might die if you stop tending it for two seconds, let's talk.
Let’s figure out what to release, what to nurture, and how to trust that what’s left will still be beautifully, unquestionably you.
Ready to make space for what matters most?
If you’ve been holding it all together, afraid to let go of anything for fear it might all unravel — you’re not alone. And you don’t have to keep doing this the hard way.
The Discovery Session is a free 20-minute conversation to ask questions, share what’s been feeling heavy, and see if coaching could be the next right step for you.
No pressure. No prep. Just two humans figuring out if we can move forward — together.
👉 Click here to schedule your Discovery Session.
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